Notebooks & Journals!
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the times that I was super pissed that the store rearranged shit. The milk was on aisle 4 and now it’s not. My favorite snacks were on aisle 6 and now I don’t know where the hell they are. They keep rearranging SHIT!!!! I’m documenting it all here... Then I’m writing them a letter.... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all of the notes on the INTENSE telekinesis experiments that my hamster, and I, have been conducting... Seriously.........Once we’re done and have completed our research........whew....... It’s going to be EPIC...... Probably a Nobel Prize too.......just sayin’ The amount of focus from both of us....WOW....... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... In case something happens to me.... This is a record of all of the reasons as to why I think my cat is trying to murder me. I’m not sure when exactly it’s going to happen, or which room it’ll be done in, but I can safely tell you now that I’m not the type of person to take my own life... So if it appears that I’ve been "suicided"... Grab this book before it’s destroyed by the cat..... I think my cat has been emailing Hillary Clinton lately too........ This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all of the times that I came in low-n-slow and carpet-bombed a room with an EPIC fart and then proceeded with my exit plan. Then, from a safe distance, I would listen to all of the screams of my targets... All the while grinning with the success of a mission accomplished... I have an appointment with the Department of Defense coming up soon........ Their BioWeapons Division... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all of the times that my cat was a complete & total asshole... I mean seriously....don’t get me wrong......... I really do love my cat, but... That little shit is without a doubt planning everything that it does!!! There’s no other explanation for it!!! I think my pet bird is in on it too..... I’m not sure which is the ring leader yet. But I’ll find out for sure, one way or another.... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all of the things that you shouldn’t say on a plane... Seriously.... I better not catch you saying any of these and screwing up my vacation plans if you’re with me... I will absolutely deny knowing you and help them put the zipties on your wrists before they haul you off the plane!!! This will also include things that you better not say in line at Airport Security too!!! I’m warning you!!! Don’t even think about it! This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all of the juicy gossip that I have overheard at work... Either from listening on the phone, in the background, overhearing meeting conversations, people talking too loud in the restroom, parking lot conversations, notes on paper that were left out in the open..... You would not BELIEVE some of the STOOOOOOPID SHIT some people have done!!! And then other times, it is STRAIGHT UP SOAP OPERA DRAMA SHIT GOING ON!!!!! Oh, and by the way.........Carl....I knew you were getting shit-canned several weeks before you knew.......sorry.........not really. This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... These are all the sex positions that I never knew existed... My response to seeing any of them was basically.... WOAH......What the?!?!?!? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE???? ISN’T THAT SPOT CALLED “The Devil’s Landing Strip????” Ohhhhh My GAWD!!!!! They are STRAIGHT UP PILE DRIVING EACH OTHER!!!!! LMAO!!!! They broke the Bed/Table/Chair!!! and so on.... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... These are all the inappropriate comments that I’m most likely going to say in serious situations... Seriously... Got a funeral going on ? Don’t invite me... Because I’ll either crack a epic joke or some other sort of comment and it’ll be remembered for decades.... Family Intervention Meeting happening??? Yeah....you know the drill Sport... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... These are all of my suspicions, conclusions, and honestly, my intelligent assumptions that these family members, friends, co-workers, and neighbors are absolutely without a doubt......vampires. They include my cousin Barry....vampire. Creepy-ass Carl at work.....seriously..... nobody is that pasty white and dark-eyed unless they’re absolutely a vampire. I don’t think my batshit crazy neighbor, Karen, is one, but.............. Her little rodent of a dog......Nacho............. Sure as shit, I’m not kidding......vampire dog. This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the reasons as to why I should never be left unsupervised. These reasons range from absolute EPIC mischief on various, or multiple reasons,to other situations where personal judgment was either extremely scarce or was a result of a series of cascading events that caused massive destruction, painstaking mayhem, or some sort of event that left every witness in a catatonic state of shock and awe... Basically....it’s any situation that may have caused my Guardian Angel to look at me and say........”Seriously??? The idea is to keep you from an ABSOLUTE DIRECT TRIP TO HELL...” This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is my collection of photos of butts and stuff. Yep.................................butts....... And Stuff.... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all my deepest, darkest secrets and desires. Seriously..........like really deep... Deeper than the Mariana Trench. Crazy dark....... Darker than Emperor Palpatine and his secrets... But on the plus side, the desires portion is super nice and warm and fuzzy and... Well............anyways.......moving along!! This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This all my research into working alongside a bunch of complete morons. Methods, evidence, artifacts, conversations (or lack there of), Stoooopid shit that happened that’ll blow your mind, policies, rules, decision making (or again, lack there of), and anything else that would certify the fact that I’ve been working with the biggest, most infested, bunch of morons that the world and history has ever seen... Reasons like these are why some people start heavy alcohol consumption... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... Holy Moly!!! You would absolutely NOT believe some of the STOOOOOPID Shit that I’ve seen the neighbors doing!!! It’s all here in every detail. I mean seriously..........WOW!!! Especially the times when my batshit crazy neighbor, Karen, down the street did some of the most bizarre stuff I’ve ever seen... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... These are all my survival plans for the Apocalypse... Anything and everything... All of the beans, bullets, and bandaids... Especially if it’s gonna be zombies.... I don’t think that my batshit crazy neighbor, Karen, down the street is going to make it... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the photos from my colonoscopy... Yep.....alllllllll of the photos... The deepest, darkest areas of my basement as seen while entering my backdoor... Lube included... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the places and events that I have been banned from... Multitudes of reasons... A lot of times it was because of my own doing or most likely because of something that I said sarcastically... GO BIG OR GO HOME!!! This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the morally flexible ideas that I have. They come in various sizes, shapes, and degrees. Sometimes, it’s just as simple as me telling myself “eh...oh what the hell, let’s just try it and see what happens...” Other times it’s basically the reflection thought of, could’a, would’a, should’a... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the reasons as to why I’m Day Drinking... Ok look.....there’s just only so much a person can take these days... ya know??? So yeah, I’m Day Drinking... and I have a whole hell of a lot of reasons why... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the tales from... .........The Night Shift................. For those who know........... ..................well.......................you know... There’s nothing like the Night Shift... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the reasons as to why I should NEVER be put on speakerphone. Seriously... If someone puts me on speakerphone, there’s simply no telling what I might do or say... Beware........... I’m not responsible for the outcome... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the things that I am restricted from talking about due to the None Disclosure Agreement that I was FORCED to sign... Soooooooo.....yeah......they're all right here... In this notebook............legibly.......as in a way that can be read easily, with clarity and distinctiveness... (...wink...wink...) This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the things that I discovered and extracted from the deepest depths of my belly button... Although none of them were Legos, some were, indeed, mysterious... Some were soft and mushy...some were not. Some were BIG and some were small... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all my notes from the alien autopsy that I’m currently conducting... All of the icky, gooey, smelly details... All the ups and downs, the ins and outs... Have I puked at times??? Yes, I have... BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT WORK PEOPLE!!!! Keep your shit together!!! This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the hypothetical arguments that I’ve had in the shower... Some arguments I’ve won... Some arguments were a complete tie... But no arguments where I’ve lost... And some arguments where I’ve thought of something soooooo EPIC to say, that I had to write it down in my other notebook that has all of the new cuss words and phrases that I’ve come up with... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the... well... it’s CLASSIED... I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you... Sorry.......................................not really... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the EPIC extistential thoughts that I’ve had while soaking in the bathtub. Thoughts that span the vast distances of the universe and beyond. Thoughts that would make anyone stand back and stretch out their arms and simply say.........Woah... That was EPIC... And then I go get some milk and Oreos...
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the Brainstorming and shit that I do... You may not have any idea... But I sure as shit do... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the ideas and plans in the works for me to become a millionaire, billionaire, or gazillionaire, without having to sell my soul and creating an OnlyFans... However... I will most likely take a photo of myself laying on a huge pile of cash if given the opportunity though...Just sayin... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the moments that I survived Once-In-A-Lifetime Events. Some of them were HILARIOUS!!! Some of them were scary! Some of them were a result of a series of cascading events that escalated quickly and were most likely foretold by some old witch reading some bones that she jiggled up in a leather pouch and then tossed them out onto an ancient hide of an animal that was bloodied and handed down to her from generations of witches before... or just me saving my favorite drink from falling off the table and spilling all over the floor... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the shit that H.R. wants me to stop saying at work... But it’s hard, ya know... It’s hard being honest about what I’m thinking and sometimes, shit just spills out of my mouth... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the things that I need to get at the market and also my current, and on-going, plans for world domination... Up to, and including, anything that could possibly classify me as a pirate... Savvy??? This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of my Emergency Escape Plans for Family Gatherings and Office Meetings... These are methods and plans that have been tried and found to be useless, semi-helpful, and then other times the planning and execution of the escape was pulled off, and completed, with absolute genius levels of intellect and analysis... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the various reasons that are going to cause my final destination to be Hell... It is very likely that one, or more, of the reasons is that I was incredibly sarcastic at a moment where I was not thinking ahead. Kinda like one of those moments where I would shout back “OH YEAH??? THIS IS FOR YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON PAL!!! DON’T TEMPT ME! I’LL DROP YOU LIKE A BAD TRANSMISSION!!!” Or... Me laughing at very poorly timed moments...like funerals and wakes... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is Notebook 9 of 37... That’s all you need to know... So stop asking about it... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the shit that I have to write down because I’m old, seasoned, and antique, and came from a time that was before time itself where we used a hammer and chisel to create our lists on stone tablets during prehistoric times... If you broke our stone tablet lists, we basically broke your legs and used your teeth to chisel out a new tablet... So don’t mess with us old people... Comprende ? This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the new cuss words, swear words, insults, and comebacks that I thought of that I truly believe even George Carlin or Sam Kinison, themselves, would have been extremely impressed with and proud of... So epic that I had to write them down before I forgot them... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the most incredibly EPIC comebacks that I thought of 3 days later after arguments, altercations, receiving insults, teasing, bullying, or as a result of peer pressure. They were comprised in such settings as in the shower, while driving, or wondering through the market while I was shopping for groceries, or even waking up at 2am. Each time nodding my head to myself and saying “Hell Yeah, that’s what I should have said...” This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of various thoughts and shit that I’ve ever had, including, but not limited to simple moments of stupidity, absurdity, brainstorms, enlightenment, shear brilliance, and absolute brain failure. This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the dumbest shit I’ve ever done, or witnessed, including, but not limited to simple moments of stupidity, absurdity, absolute brain failure, and/or the complete idiocy of individuals or groups. This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... There out there...in public...and certainly among all of us...this is a record of the nominations for “Dipshit of the month” that I have comprised, including, but not limited to, those persons exhibiting massive amounts of stupidity, absurdity, and all other characteristics that make up a total and complete “Dipshit”... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the Conspiracy Theories that I’ve come to the conclusion are true, regardless of whatever the government, city officials, mainstream media, or even the batshit crazy neighbor, Karen, down the street, have to say... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the absolutely incredible and amazing conversations that I had with my pet. Conversations that bridged the gap between minds and expanded understanding to ultimate levels...... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the dumbest shit I’ve ever done, including, but not limited to simple moments of stupidity, absurdity, and absolute brain failure. This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is all the shit that my boss says... It’s usually a result of the shit that my boss’s boss says. And that boss’s shit is a result of the shit that comes down from higher up, which is usually in the category of absolutely the dumbest shit you’ve ever heard of... I’m tellin ya!!!! IT’S ALL SHIT!!!! Shit.....Shit Shit Shit........SHIT ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!! It’s a TOTAL CRAPFEST!!!! CRAPOLA! CRAP-A-ROOSKI !!! CRAPARAMMA!!! for real... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is definitely NOT a COMPLETE Record of all my Evil Plans and Sinister Thoughts... Nope....not in here... I mean, seriously......WHY would I put ALL of my EVIL PLANS and SINISTER THOUGHTS in THIS book. That would be RIDICULOUS!!!! But if I was ever truly going to write such things down, I would make sure that the book was VERY similar to this one. But they are certainly not in THIS book.... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all of the things that I talk to my dog about. Soooooooo........that’s it. They’re private. Stay outta my book. It’s none of your business. We’re gonna go get some snacks and chewies and then go continue our walk and conversations. This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... These are all the smart things that I generally yell, or yelled, or will yell at the TV. They were EPIC... Monumental !!! Epically Monumental !!!! And then I went to get some ice cream and pie... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all my friends’ and family’s credit card details. It’s pretty self-explanatory... That’s it............pretty simple..... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... These are all the things that I’ve done that totally and completely remind me that I’m a badass. Are they all clear-headed and logical? Maybe.........maybe not......... But that doesn’t change anything!!! I’m a badass........and I do badass things... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... These are all the smart things that I’m planning on saying later. They’re going to be EPIC. Monumental !!! Epically Monumental !!!! And then I’ll go get some ice cream... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... These are all the spells and incantations people should fear me for. I mean seriously........don’t cross me... I have no issue with putting a hex on some of you... Especially the batshit crazy neighbor, Karen, down the street... I’ll drop a Double-Hex on her ass without a second thought if I need to... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... These are all my notes on rare occult books, of all kinds, and important safety tips, again, all kinds, that were taught to me by Dr. Raymond Stantz. to include Tobin’s Spirit Guide. Specializing in the bizarre, somewhat strange and hard to find books... oh....and the answer to the God question is always.......YES. This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... These are all my notes on my collection of spores, molds, and fungus... While being mentored by Dr. Egon Spengler. Yep.................that’s about it........ Anyways...........moving along........ This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... These are all my notes on work ethics and research methods taught to me by Dr. Peter Venkman. to include kicking ass and being slimed... Electrical shocks from time to time as well... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all the Cheat Sheets that I have compiled for Exams, Tests, and Quizzes... HANDS OFF!!! Me no likey you opening my notebookey... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the names and locations of all the bodies of the people (that pissed me off or various other reasons that I didn’t like them) that I buried in the woods... For example...people who don’t keep their cart in their own lane, in the aisles, at the market while shopping for groceries... Or... People who just Drain the energy out of you and you’ve come to the conclusion that they are sucking too much oxygen from the planet... Survival of the fittest... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of the things that I’ve come to the conclusion that were created, invented, or came into existence as a DIRECT RESULT of being the spawn of Satan, himself... Things to be avoided, not listened to, not viewed, not tasted, not felt, or any other of the senses... AVOID AT ALL COSTS... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all of the contact info for my prison pen pals... I’ve tried to keep it all organized into the various gangs, but sometimes there are some people that are crossovers and they are in multiple gangs... Tats and gang signs are included wherever I can remember them. If something happens to me.....make sure that this book gets to Santos and Juan at the Texas State Prison.... they’ll know what to do with it.........don’t forget the secret hand signal when you drop it off to them... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)
To Whom It May Concern... This is a record of all of the weird shit that my neighbors and co-workers do... Especially my batshit crazy neighbor, Karen, down the street... Seriously.... You would NOT BELIEVE some of the shit that goes on around here and at work... Incredible.... This book is a notebook journal that is intended for the writer to fill in and detail their personal events ;)